Not much to say...

I don't have much to say today...I worked and when I got home I sat down on the couch and woke up several hours later. LOL It's amazing how some work and situations can just make you exhausted. I work again tomorrow and expect the same outcome to my day. I'm hopeful that I'll have family over on the 31st to ring in the New Year so I probably won't be online to chronicle my day. I wish you all a Happy New Year!

Pounds lost: 13.7 (375.3)

Daily insight: Some things just happen.

Ounces of water consumed: 20

Steps in the right direction: 61

The hardest part…

I’ve discovered that in life, the hardest part of anything you do is the preparation, the planning. When you have work to do you almost always gather all of the things you’ll need to complete your task before you start. If you’re like me you get as much information as you can find that is pertinent to what you’re doing. That way it’s less likely that you’ll give misinformation or forget a vital step in what you’re doing.

Lately, preparation has been kicking me in the backside! I do a lot of preparation when I write for work and it’s taking up almost all of my time. I know that if you compare the amount of time I spend writing to the amount of time I do in research I’m spending 5 minutes of writing for every hour of research. That doesn’t seem very productive at all.

I recently discovered that most people in the article writing business use programs to do the actual writing for them. They just look through it to make sure it doesn’t sound like a robot wrote it. To me.. that’s cheating. How can you promise original content when your content isn’t even created by you?

What do I know?

I’m a little on the cranky side today. I couldn’t seem to drag myself out of my mood. Not even a yummy lunch of left over Himalayan food worked to improve my mood. I feel like I’m a wind up toy bouncing against the wall not able to move forward. I do NOT like that feeling.

I have no desire to step anywhere near the scale tomorrow. I don’t want to know what it says. There have already been a lot of obstacles in my way since I began and most of them have been me. And I can’t seem to get myself to step aside. What is holding me back? What is going on inside of my head that feels the need to stay right where I am? I don’t like being heavy. I don’t like being tired. SO why the hell am I trying to stay this way?

I wish I had a crystal ball that could give me the answers I’m looking for. Or better yet.. I wish I had a magic wand I could use to clear my way so I can move forward and succeed.

Pounds lost: 13.7 (375.3)

Daily insight: You know things are bad when even you lose faith in you.

Ounces of water consumed: 64

Steps in the right direction: 60

Normalcy is overrated.. right?

I could sooo blame the lack of normal route on Mercury being in retrograde, but that’s only going to last a little longer and then the truth will come out that I’m a mess of poor time management. :)

So, I might a well admit it now. I’m not very well organized. At least not as organized as I used to be. When I was at work my work was always well organized and I was easily able to complete tasks in the time allotted me. Now that I’m self employed my ability to do that has completely flown out the window.

Of course, there are times when something helps me lose track of time, but that’s not as often as I would like. It’s usually all on me. LOL

Today I did accomplish a lot, in retrospect, but it didn’t feel like a lot as the day progressed. I should be proud of what I did do and move on with a more positive note. Ah ha! An excellent plan Watson!

Tomorrow is my day to get things settled and finished so I’m ready to dig into Inventory on Thursday and Friday. I have a “To do” list that I plan on completing. I guess you’ll know how well I did when I check in tomorrow evening.

Diet went better than planned today since I had no plan at all. :D But I do know that Thursday’s weigh in will show that I’ve gained some weight. I suppose it’s to be expected with the piss poor food choices I’ve been making, but that doesn’t make me grumble any less. I looks like I’m going to be making a new affirmation come the end of the calendar year to help me get back on track. The solar year ended, the pagan New Year already passed, so I might as well learn a little something from the usual resolutions made at the calendar New Year.

I hope if you’re making resolutions for yourself this year that you don’t forget to include the “Be nicer to myself because I’m doing the best I can” resolution to your list. :)

Pounds lost: 13.7 (375.3)

Daily insight: Things work out even if they aren’t according to plan.

Ounces of water consumed: 64

Steps in the right direction: 59

A long reprieve…

It feels like it’s been a week since I’ve sat down at the computer. When I signed off on Thursday I shut the computer down completely and focused on finishing presents for my family that celebrate Christmas and the parties I had planned.

Friday my sister and her kids came over, which was wonderful, so that they could share their Christmas morning with me. It really touched my heart that they wanted to be here for it. My sister had to drag me out of the office and away from sewing to spend some time with them before they went to bed. In the morning she had to drag me out of bed (I was sooo tired!) so I could watch the joy of presents and love.

Saturday was the party for one part of the family. Everyone helped me get the house in party shape while I continued to sew in the office. I had the door closed so no one could peek. :D When everyone got there I found myself stuck in the kitchen and was sad to realize that they had opened their secret Santa gifts without me. I admit the fatigue combined with being left out had me going into my room to cry it out. I realized later the other reason was because I opened a letter from a potential employer that turned out to be a rejection letter. I was devastated by that letter and hadn’t given in to the tears that needed to be shed until later. Everyone headed back to their prospective homes and I went back to work sewing and preparing for the party on Sunday.

I was up until 2am, but I finished. In the morning when I got out of bed I finished the last little bit of touch up work that needed to be done on the gifts and wrapped them all. Then I started cooking, marinating, baking, and mixing. My sister and her kids came over early to help me prepare the house and me for the party for the other side of the family that evening.

Everything turned out so amazing! The food was great, the desert rocked, and the company was beyond wonderful. I had finally escaped my place in the kitchen after dinner and was able to mingle. After my parents and Liz left, my sister and her kids stayed to hang out with me more. We visited and laughed and I once again reveled in the blessings of being home with my family.

Today, I slept in sooooo long my body protested. LOL Then I got dressed and met my Stepmom and her mom for a visit with my Aunt and Uncle so we could see all of their holiday decorations. My goodness there was so many! We had lunch at a great Himalayan restaurant. I had never had Himalayan and really enjoyed it! We had a great time chatting and my Aunt and I talked a little about a project to create unique stockings to sell. Sounds like a great idea!

Now I’m back home and trying to get back into the swing of things so I can turn in the work I have due. My eyes keep closing on me and my brain keeps clicking (and not in a good way) so I think I might have to just start fresh in the morning and keep at it until all of my work is complete. We’ll see how I feel after dinner.

Pounds lost: 13.7 (375.3)

Daily insight: Which way is up?

Ounces of water consumed: 64

Steps in the right direction: 58

Short but sweet…

Tonight’s post is going to be super short. I’ve overloaded myself (surprise, hmm?) and have a to do list longer than my arm! Sooooo… here’s the quickie version.

Today was full of writing and wondering how many hours I can steal from tomorrow to cram into today. I’m going to be doing an all nighter, more than likely, but don’t tell anyone (*presses the invisibility button so none of the family can read this post! Dang, where’d the button go??*). I want to makes sure I finish everything so that all I have to do Friday-Sunday is focus on cooking for the family that’ll be here and enjoy myself.

The diet was ok today, so concentrated on work that I used cheese sticks for more than one meal and supplemented the absence of another with a few gulps of milk. Hmm.

I did weigh in and did manage to shuck of a half of a pound. Can’t be grumpy (well, I can but…) about it. A loss is a loss.

And, I’m on my last 30 ounces to get in all my water for the day. Yay!

Ok, I’m out!

Pounds lost: 13.7 (375.3)

Daily insight: ………………………………………….Beep, Beep, slower traffic to the right please!……………………………………….

Ounces of water consumed: 80

Steps in the right direction: 54

Trying to keep the energy up…

Yesterday/last night was so powerful that I had such high hopes and positive thoughts for my future. So when I went to bed I knew I would be able to keep everything going in the morning. When my alarm went off I hit the snooze button (it really is too close to my bed) without even registering that it was going off. I did it again two more times and then it auto-switched off. I opened my eyes again an hour later and looked at the time. My next thought was, What happened to getting up early? And my internal response was, Well, this is early for me… just not the early I wanted. LOL

I grumbled and pouted, but got out of bed and went through my morning shufflings that included taking meds and taking care of the puppy before I wandered into the office. I knew that I would have to get a LOT done in here today if I was going to have time to get my gifts for family finished.

And.. here it is, almost 11 am and I still have 4 more articles to write. I did accomplish the first 4 so I didn’t do badly. Unfortunately, if I’m going to turn in all the work tomorrow so I can sew for the rest of the day I will need to work on the projects tonight and write in the morning. EARLY. Not the kind of early like this morning, but the kind of early from when I was in school. Highschool. Bummer-ola!

I did get a lot more than it sounds like accomplished. I went to the grocery store and bought diet friendly food and I even made a run to the fabric store to get one or two things that were MIA here at the house. That took an hour and a half out of my day. I need a transporter! Things would go so much faster that way.

I do have to pat myself on the back a little and admit that when I went to pick up a salad I ordered (I really wanted fries from Wendy’s but I’d have to travel FAR to get them) and there was a sign that said “Add a 32 oz Pepsi for $.99. I saw it and without thinking went, Yay! When I realized what my brain just said I told myself.. This is your first test. Don’t give in so fast! You just made the promise to yourself and the Divine last night!

Needless to say, I did NOT buy the Pepsi that was calling my name like temptation on my shoulder.

It looks like I’m going to have to put myself through Pepsi withdraw again to get it out of my system. This needs to be a lesson about what “cheating” can do to you. Something so innocent looking can wreck some serious havoc in your life.

But as they say.. it’s the hardest things that end up being the most rewarding.

Now I’m chewing my lip about weighing in tomorrow. Skipping it would be out of the question, but I know.. and I mean I KNOW.. that the number isn’t going to be my favorite tomorrow. Oh well, I’ll face the music when it’s time.

Pounds lost: 13.2 (375.8)

Daily insight: It’s a wise woman that places the alarm clock across the room so she has to get out of the snuggly warmness of her bed to turn it off, letting the COLD wake her butt up!

Ounces of water consumed: 80

Steps in the right direction: 53

Blessed Yule!

What a good day I had today. :) But before I talk about today, I have to talk about what happened last night. The full moon lunar eclipse! Gasp! It was beautiful! It was already a powerful deal with a full moon and an eclipse, but add in the Solstice and it was crazy amazingly rad! Ok, ok.. so I’m still a little excited about it. I can’t help it.

I did a full moon/eclipse ritual and set out a glass vessel filled with fresh water to soak up the power of the celestial alignment. Mother moon, father sun, and the earth in a straight line. Powerful, heady stuff! I once did a blue moon water empowerment and used the water for many things all year including pouring it on a plant that wasn’t doing so well. The plant flourished.

Here are some of pictures I took of the eclipse last night. :)

This is the first picture I took just before it started.

Just the tiniest bit was gone.

Nearly half way gone.

Almost completely gone!

Such an amazing color! There was this huge ring around the eclipse and since my sky had gone miraculously clear I could see all the other stars in the sky shining so bright! It really made the ring stand out. It was spectacular.

This one is my favorite because the Moon had turned this cool black/purple/red/brown color!

I was so jazzed from it that I ended up staying awake until 3am. When I woke up this morning I was like.. wow, I feel so rested! Today was another busy day of preparing for ritual and my Mom and niece to come over to do some print/photo work on my computer. They didn’t get here as early as I expected and I’m sorry to say I bristled under the upset of my plans. But after I realized that Solstice doesn’t have to be performed at a specific time I shut up about it and just enjoyed the rest of the visit.

My Mom, for the first time, made a special point of giving me a Yule gift. She worked really hard on it and I think it’s beautiful! It really means a lot to me that my Mom is making an effort to respect my beliefs and wants to be a part of my holiday. Here’s the beautiful wreath she made me.

My Yule ritual was fantastic and so full of joy and noise and freedom and energy! This is the first time I haven’t had a neighbor above me, below me, beside me or wherever that I feared might here my rite and act like an idiot later. I do have neighbors here but there are rooms between them and I on one side and an open green space on the other side of me. I could raise my voice as I raised power and run through the house yelling “Welcome back light!” as much as I wanted. :D It was a truly joyous experience! I came away from it with such energy that the whole house feels brighter. I am blessed!

Happy rebirth, God! Happy reuniting, Goddess! Much love from your little pagan hearted me!

The diet went pretty good considering the happy madness. I cleaned out my fridge so that should make things sooo much easier when it comes to planning and making meals. I found my cheese sticks that were hiding behind some seriously old OJ. Yay! Water intake was great. I’m looking forward to tomorrow!

Pounds lost: 13.2 (375.8)

Daily insight: Is it wrong to happy dance around the house with wild hair and ribbons and a drum? :D

Ounces of water consumed: 80

Steps in the right direction: 52