Almost had a bitter divorce from the scale…

I have been struggling, for the last few days, with the news my scale gave me on Thursday. I had noticed the week before last that my scale was acting funny, saying things that couldn’t possibly be true. I had turned it over and the tabs that are supposed to be between the weight gauge and the floor were askew. I pealed them off and placed them back correctly then set it down so I could step on it again. Suddenly it was reading “right” so that when I stepped on three more times the weight between the three times was off maybe by a ½ lb.

But when I stepped on to the scale last Thursday morning it rudely told me I was almost back to where I started. In the high 380’s. I stepped off. And on. And OFF, again. I flipped it over and found that the tabs were askew AGAIN. Frustration! And anger. I knew that what I had eaten the week before included Thanksgiving leftovers and a lovely meal with my parents, but I thought it was IMPOSSIBLE that I would have gained 9 lbs in a single week. For the whole day I couldn’t fathom the possibility and ranted to my sister and a friend. I didn’t think I was in a good frame of mind and shouldn’t write a blog. So I stayed away.

On Friday I had intended to write about the day before but I ended up drowning in the work I had in my inbox. Because that was a convenient excuse I allowed myself not to talk about it, but when I stepped away from the desk to fix and eat dinner I dug out some industrial glue (that my Dad gave me because he rocks like that!) and went to work scrapping the old glue off the tabs and scale. I then glued the tabs back on. I knew I needed to wait 24 hours for the glue to completely dry and that gave me another excuse to not think more about what had completely unhinged me.

Tonight when I stepped on the freshly glued scale I had to look at the truth of my situation. I breathed a sigh of relief when my scale read 377.2 instead of 387 or something INCONCIEVABLE. Yes, I gained some weight and that’s a hard pill for me to swallow, but at least I know that the scale won’t be pulling odd numbers out of its memory to mess with me again. If the scale reads heavy it’s because I’m heavy not because the scale is misaligned. I have to come to terms with my fears.

Part of my mind is still trying to reassure me by reminding me of what I witnessed in the past when it comes to being on my period. I always, always weigh 3 lbs heavier during my period than I do when it’s over. I have no idea if that’s because of water gain that women have to suffer with or if I’m just…odd. No matter the case I need to stop “excusing” myself and deal with things in the here and now.

My goal is to lose weight not obsess over the gaining or losing of it. I know from past experience that there will be highs and there will be lows, but I need to focus on the long term goal and make the appropriate changes to keep me on the path that will take me there.

My faith was tested by a piece of machinery made to help me not hinder me. I cannot allow that to happen again. I also need to make sure that I post even when the news I may have is disappointing. I cannot keep an honest record of what I’m going through if I am practicing avoidance.

Pounds lost: 12.5 (376.5)

Daily insight: You can’t avoid things forever; eventually the house will fall on you if you don’t stop it.

Ounces of water consumed: 64

Steps in the right direction: 42

Time flies…

That old adage came to me today as I sat back to think about what I was going to write. Today was a happily busy day. I had tons of work to do (still do!) and also spent a productive hour on an interview for a job I am really hoping to get. Fingers crossed! Late in the evening I went to help my sister at her place and them came home and collapsed on the couch. I just realized what time it is so I rushed in to the office to post.

Tomorrow is going to be just as busy. I’m very glad for that. Although my days do rush past before I realize it I am enjoying being so busy. Things can’t be going bad if I’m so busy, right? Income is sure to follow!

The diet went well today for the most part (there was some cheating on the way home from my sisters because my stomach was so empty I was experiencing the unpleasantness of empty belly burping. Eww!), but I did get all of my water in and that’s always a good thing!

Pounds lost: 12.5 (376.5)

Daily insight: Hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, got to help our Sistorelli!

Ounces of water consumed: 64

Steps in the right direction: 38

The small things in life…

Yesterday was the “Not Thanksgiving” Thanksgiving party at my parent’s house. It was wonderful! I love being able to spend time with my family and yesterday was a great example of a good time. The food was amazing (Oooh, the twice baked potatoes were insanely nummy!) and I was surprised into laughter with a gift. I was handed a tin placard that had Glenda from the Wizard of Oz on it. The catch phrase printed across her picture read, “Are you a good witch or a bad witch?”

It made me laugh so hard I had tears in my eyes. It was a wonderful (priceless) gift that I treasure! I’m going to put it up here in my office so every time I see it I will grin or laugh or both. It’s really the small things in life that matter. They become the focus of memories that make you feel the same joy you did when they first happened.

Today I went back to work on my freelance jobs and had a very busy day. I’m really enjoying the work I’m getting to do and all of the research that leads up to the end product. Today my articles were centered on different types of meditation.

One of the forms of meditation I researched is called Sufi Whirling. Have you ever seen a Whirling Dervish? This is the type of meditation that they perform when whirling. I was fascinated about the logic used in the meditation. For example, when you spin without stepping out to far you stay in nearly the same place.. this draws in your center of gravity so that your center stays in one place even though your body is in motion. It reminded me of the point you see at the end of a water funnel. A finite point within the chaos of motion.

They believe that the energy created in the whirling that is focused on your center opens up your natural spiritual self so that you can communicate with the divine.

I like the thought of this because I remember very clearly twirling as a child until I fell down dizzy and ecstatic on the ground with my arms thrown out staring up into the bright blue sky. I would laugh and get up to do it again. There was bliss to be found in my childish twirling. Doing it with a intent and focus could very well be the way to throw the doors open to speaking with the divine consciousness.

I believe that meditation is often used as a form of prayer. Prayer, by definition, is spiritual communication with God/Goddess. Therefore meditation is an excellent way to focus your intent on communication. In the pagan belief everything we do should be done with intent, most especially our spell craft. So meditation will be a valuable tool in focusing our intent in our every day life.

Balance is something I’ve talked about before when I mentioned balancing the elements within yourself. Having too much fire could get you into trouble when emotions are concerned, for example. Balance is important in as many aspects of your life as possible.

When you meditate you achieve a balance within your body as well as your spiritual self. With balance in your life you look at the world differently and in a more positive way.

Pounds lost: 12.5 (376.5)

Daily insight: Enrich your life through the thoughtful use of intent.

Ounces of water consumed: 64

Steps in the right direction: 37

Foul winds blew.. and blew…

Today was a stinker. I was in a foul mood nearly all day and it put my attitude right in line. I had insomnia last night and finally went to bed near to 5am. I woke up at 11am and felt like my day was nearly over when it had just started. Unless it’s planned I really don’t like oversleeping. I always feel like I’m scrambling to catch up for the rest of the day.

The diet was off it’s game today with my shift in timetables. It’s a piss poor excuse and I’m sorry I let that excuse happen. My water intake wasn’t what it should have been either. I didn’t start drinking until I only had an hour left until bedtime.

The good thing from today is that I’m now motivated to discover a better way to wake myself up. Even if I have insomnia I should still get up at a reasonable time. I believe this will make falling asleep the following night much easier.

Come Monday I hope to have a new alarm clock set up and ready to go. Fingers crossed!

Pounds lost: 12.5 (376.5)

Daily insight: Grumbling only adds salt to the wound.

Ounces of water consumed: 30

Steps in the right direction: 35

Miss fix it…

Today was my “day off”. Of course, that means I still had to do some work, but that’s only because I can’t seem to stop working now that I’m rev’d up and ready! Today is also the day I decided to decorate. Yay! When I pulled out the vacuum cleaner (I had cleaned all the filters, roller, and compartments on Weds so it would do a really great job today!) after moving out all of the furniture that was moveable and started vacuuming when I smelled something burning. Eek! I turned it off and flipped it over. Everything looked fine. And then I thought.. Oh no, did I not put the belt on right?

Ayup.. belt was melted (and still hot!). Ger-reat! Thankfully, it was easy enough to go pick up another and get back to the house to finish the job. Very nice! So far I only have the tree up, but she looks fabulous! Next will come the lights and miscellaneous decorations. I can’t wait to put up my card display holder. I loooove getting holiday cards! I’m going to start addressing mine in the next week. My goal is to have them mailed by next Saturday. It could happen!

The diet went mostly according to plan. I got caught up in the tree and missed a meal and am starting to feel hungry. I think I might toss me a little salad or go the easy route and pop in a vegetarian frozen meal. Not sure yet. Water consumption was on the ball tonight, which is always good.

I’m looking forward and trying to decide how to celebrate Yule this year. I have this one Santa candle I love using to invoke the spirit of giving and I’m making that center stage of my alter. The Goddess and the God are represented but I’m really keen on getting some greenery and holly this year. I’m going to ask my Dad if I can have some from their holly bush (more like tree!) and evergreen trees. I think that will be just what I need to finish off the decorations.

Pounds lost: 12.5 (376.5)

Daily insight: There’s nothing better than the sound of a snoring puppy snuggled on your lap.

Ounces of water consumed: 75

Steps in the right direction: 34

Phew!

I was so scared when I met with the scale this morning for my weigh in. I was worried that Thanksgiving would have caught up with me and stole some of the weight I had lost the week before. Here’s one more thing for me to be thankful for. I lost 1.5 pounds! Happy Day! Happy Week.. Happy me!

I STILL haven’t been able to decorate.. sad me.. but have decided to take tomorrow off so that I can do it. Today I spent my whole day neck deep in Antigua and Barbados writing a total of 11 articles between the two countries. I think it’s harder to come up with 11 completely different ideas, even at only 160 words, than it is to come up with 4 600 word original articles. I don’t know how people do it, but from the feedback I’ve been getting it might be save to assume the quality of articles these people are used to getting is FAR below par. That means more jobs for me, but I wish those jobs came with a pay raise. :)

I have a sample article that I’m working on right now and then it’s off to bed with me. I’ve had a very productive day.

Yesterday I found a blog that I’m keen on reading by Silver Ravenwolf called the Great Release Challenge! Feel free to check it out at: http://silverravenwolf.wordpress.com/2010/12/02/day-2-of-the-magickal-release-program/ I hope you enjoy it.

The diet went great today and I got in all of my water. That’s always a rewarding ending to the day. Soooooo, no waxing philosophical for me tonight, I’m too tired.

Goodnight, All

Pounds lost: 12.5 (376.5)

Daily insight: It’s never the wrong time to Happy Dance!

Ounces of water consumed: 75

Steps in the right direction: 33

Almost tomorrow.. Already?…

When I woke up this morning I genuinely had no idea what day of the week or month it was. I came into the office and sat down to check my email. I had a huge amount, all concerning jobs I had applied for on a freelance website. I was excited! There were messages flying left and right and back and forth. Before I knew it I was late for lunch. I told my contacts that I needed to sign off to eat and would be back later.

While I was making lunch I thought, ‘Hey.. What day is it?’ I went and looked and was pleased to see I didn’t have to wait any longer. I could decorate! Yay! Lunch consumed, I did a happy dance all the way to the garage where I uncovered my bins of decorations. I dragged them into the house and thought I should go check to see if there was anything urgent I needed to take care of.

Before I knew it I had missed snack and it was 6:30pm. I wasn’t able to go see my sister (tomorrow!!) and needed to eat dinner. I got up and searched through the kitchen for something quick to cook so I could continue doing all the work on my plate. I ended up having more of a snack than dinner and went back to work.

So here I am and the day is almost over and I still have 2 more articles to right. I’m feeling a little overwhelmed. Already. LOL

Decorating is being put off until tomorrow (even though I have 11 articles due). Booo. But that’s the price you pay for income. I’ll pay it! The place will be decorated before too long and I’ll be able to sit back and admire it while I work.

Pounds lost: 11.2 (377.8)

Daily insight: Time flies.. Seriously.

Ounces of water consumed: 75

Steps in the right direction: 31